we come home with a couple friends from seeing neighbor steve's band play at barley. we were sitting on steve's porch drinking and having a good time, when jason runs around the corner holding something on the doormat. it was this!:
we didn't know what kind of animal it was at first, upon closer examination, we realized it was a baby squirrel. we didn't notice any injuries on the little guy, so our next step was to put it in a shoebox with some yarn and cotton fabric (CRAFTINESS SAVES LIVES), and got a little dropper to feed him some water. after a night of copious drinking, we went to fiesta at 7 am for an 18 pack, 2 bottles of wine, and some pedialyte. (classy.) feeding looked something like this:
my google investigation told me that after feeding a baby squirrel, you had to run your hand in featherlike strokes over the animal's genitalia to get said animal to urinate. that job fell to jason. i think he liked it.
the next day (same day? that weekend is a blur), we called a bunch of wildlife rehabilitators to see if anyone would be able to take this guy off our hands and give him proper care. no one called us back until sunday, when we found a nice lady named liz who worked at a rehab center in hutchins (i think?) who was willing to take him down there, where he'll be cared for until he is old and strong enough to go roam free. there was another baby squirrel in their care, so the two babies will have company growing up.
later on, liz told us he is actually a she. so instead of rubbing squirrel balls, jason was rubbing squirrel vagina, which for some reason, is creepier.
