Jerry Falwell

If it looks like a fork and it quacks like a fork...

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NerfHerder
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Postby NerfHerder » Thu May 17, 2007 1:19 am

So I have this friend who goes to Liberty University. Using AOL Instant Messenger, he IMed me the other day. I didn't save the transcript but it went something like this.

Friend: Did you hear about Jerry Falwell?
Me: Yeah
Friend: It's awful isn't it?
Me: I dunno, not really
Friend: WHAAAAAT?
Me: For one, as a Christian you should be happy that he is in Heaven. Death is a natural part of life bla bla.
Friend: Yeah, but...
Me: Also he's a crazy fundamentalist nut that helped move Christianity away from the average person and more towards the crazies.
Friend: But I'm not crazy
Me: You chose to go to a school where dancing is not permitted, there is a curfew, you can't watch R-rated movies, can't even go into a girl's room and can't protest any injustice anywhere.
Friend: There are good things, too
Me: Like?
Friend: Christian chicks are fucking hot, man.
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sam
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Postby sam » Thu May 17, 2007 2:08 am

He must be a masochist to go to that school to gawk at the hot girls, and I'm sure they are, that aren't going to get him where he wants to go.
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sam
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Postby sam » Thu May 17, 2007 2:08 am

...and in other news, I managed to double post. Thank K I caught it before anyone will notice.
Last edited by sam on Thu May 17, 2007 2:12 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby NerfHerder » Thu May 17, 2007 2:26 am

Some people take their flags down to half staff. Others pray for Falwell and his family.

I made this my computer's background (YEHAW CHRISTIANITY!)

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Postby Tracy » Thu May 17, 2007 3:27 am

Friend: There are good things, too
Me: Like?
Friend: Christian chicks are fucking hot, man.
My husband's cousin's daughter (is that his second cousin?) goes to school there and is on some kind of christian cheerleading team there. I'm guessing there isn't any other kind, though.
formerly known as valentine (and who lives in WEST Fort Worth)
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Postby NerfHerder » Thu May 17, 2007 3:35 am

Give me a J!
Give me an E!
Give me an S!
Give me a U!
Give me an S!

What's that spell? SALVATION!
Louder! SELFLESSNESS!
LOUDER! THE ULTIMATE SYMBOL OF OUR HOLY FATHER'S LOVE!

WOO GO FLAMES!
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James
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Postby James » Thu May 17, 2007 8:12 am

So I have this friend who goes to Liberty University. Using AOL Instant Messenger, he IMed me the other day. I didn't save the transcript but it went something like this.

Friend: Did you hear about Jerry Falwell?
Me: Yeah
Friend: It's awful isn't it?
Me: I dunno, not really
Friend: WHAAAAAT?
Me: For one, as a Christian you should be happy that he is in Heaven. Death is a natural part of life bla bla.
Friend: Yeah, but...
Me: Also he's a crazy fundamentalist nut that helped move Christianity away from the average person and more towards the crazies.
Friend: But I'm not crazy
Me: You chose to go to a school where dancing is not permitted, there is a curfew, you can't watch R-rated movies, can't even go into a girl's room and can't protest any injustice anywhere.
Friend: There are good things, too
Me: Like?
Friend: Christian chicks are fucking hot, man.
If this is your friend's only good point about attending Falwell's Academy of Hate, I've got news for him. I can think of at least three Christian schools in Texas that have way hotter chicks than "Liberty"....

as for Falwell, well, since I can't say anything nice....
pedals1 pedals1 pedals1 pedals1 pedals1 pedals1 pedals1 pedals1
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Jan
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Postby Jan » Thu May 17, 2007 9:26 am

This is too wickedly ironic. That whack-job Fred Phelps, of "god hates fags" fame, apparently is going to stage one his group's appearances at Falwell's funeral - presumably because Falwell didn't hate fags quite enough. Wow!
Ahahahahaha! I hope that is true, the damn fag enabler.
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Sybil
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Postby Sybil » Thu May 17, 2007 10:44 am

Ahahahahaha! I hope that is true, the damn fag enabler.
I finally got around to checking the website and it's true! I think my head might explode.

Now it appears the "Christian" right are devouring each other. Perfect.

Sybil
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Jan
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Postby Jan » Thu May 17, 2007 11:14 am

Link???
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Phyllis
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Postby Phyllis » Thu May 17, 2007 12:11 pm

Link???
www.godhatesfags.com

it's on the front page (of course)

P.S.
Friend: Did you hear about Jerry Falwell?
Me: Yeah
Friend: It's awful isn't it?
Me: I dunno, not really
Friend: WHAAAAAT?
Me: For one, as a Christian you should be happy that he is in Heaven. Death is a natural part of life bla bla.
Friend: Yeah, but...
Me: Also he's a crazy fundamentalist nut that helped move Christianity away from the average person and more towards the crazies.
Friend: But I'm not crazy
Me: You chose to go to a school where dancing is not permitted, there is a curfew, you can't watch R-rated movies, can't even go into a girl's room and can't protest any injustice anywhere.
Friend: There are good things, too
Me: Like?
Friend: Christian chicks are fucking hot, man.
ew ew ew ew. why are you friends with that person?
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Postby Irock » Thu May 17, 2007 1:37 pm

He must be a masochist to go to that school to gawk at the hot girls, and I'm sure they are, that aren't going to get him where he wants to go.
I think you're forgetting that just because they're Christians doesn't mean they're not skanks. They're just a little bit quiter about it.

Alternately, Nerf's buddy is gay.

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Postby katie » Thu May 17, 2007 2:29 pm

i went to catholic school for twelve years and let me tell you - the girls are SLUTS. there's something about being told you can't do something that makes you just want to do it at every opportunity.
dread stuff

NEW ETSY NEW ETSY NEW ETSY

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sam
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Postby sam » Fri May 18, 2007 3:14 am

i went to catholic school for twelve years and let me tell you - the girls are SLUTS. there's something about being told you can't do something that makes you just want to do it at every opportunity.
I believe Mr. Zappa put that one to tune.

"God hates ___." Just what kind of God is this?
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roach
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Postby roach » Fri May 18, 2007 4:44 am

They're just a little bit quiter about it
ummmmmm. ummmmmmm.


ro"define"Quiter""ach


pedals. one.
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