stop woman flow

[NerfHerder]

Take Loestrin 24 Fe and have shorter periods!

On average, less than three days!

[Phyllis]

i hate that commercial. that stupid bitch is talking out loud to herself.

NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SHUTUP.

[ChrisLovesYou]

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but won't taking medicine to shorten your period cause your powerful womanly magic to throw the universe into disorder?

[roach]

even flow.

[mere1975]

Squeezle,

Don't you have the "I'm MC Menses and My Flow Be Fresh" shirt?

- Mere "or is that Justin?" 1975

[Sybil]

Squeezle,

Don't you have the "I'm MC Menses and My Flow Be Fresh" shirt?

- Mere "or is that Justin?" 1975

Oh. My. God. I started laughing hysterically right out loud here in my little cubicle! Thank goodness most of my coworkers have gone for the day.

Sybil

[monet2u]

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but won't taking medicine to shorten your period cause your powerful womanly magic to throw the universe into disorder?

Yes. But only for the men. So it's ok.

[mere1975]

Oh. My. God. I started laughing hysterically right out loud here in my little cubicle! Thank goodness most of my coworkers have gone for the day.

Sybil

PHYLLIS,

Take note: Mother's Day is right around the corner and your mom deserves a gift!

- Mere "M.C. Menses > M.C. Escher" 1975

[Rebecca]

i hate that commercial. that stupid bitch is talking out loud to herself.

NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SHUTUP.

I hate any commercial involving women talking/laughing/dancing about their periods.

I also hate commercials where they use blue water to demonstrate how effective their product is. WTF?

[monet2u]

yeah there should be commericals where the woman is laid out clutching her stomach and moaning in agony. That's closer to the reality of the situation.

[Irock]

I got this bulletin the other day:

MR. JAMES THATCHER
BRAND MANAGER,
PROCTER & GAMBLE.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.

But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi-pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing? As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:

"Have a Happy Period."

Are you f...ing kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out of you ass man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn 't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best, Wendi Aarons Austin , TX

[monet2u]

yep that about sums it up