Forkers Central

i will admit, i never bothered to learn anything about mike huckabee. mostly because he is insane, he'll never be the presidential candidate, and even if he was i would never vote for him.

however, for government class we're doing a project (of course) about the presidential candidates. the project is to pick one candidate from each party and do research on like, how they feel about certain issues and stuff. pretty much everyone in the class picked barack obama and john mccain. so i decided to pick the underdogs: hillary clinton and mike huckabee.

hillary's website is pretty standard. it has her stances on all the issues and blah blah blah. but mike huckabee's website provided for some pretty hilarious entertainment. his first mistake was that the entire thing is written in first person, and it feels like he typed up a note to a friend and it accidentally got posted on the internet.

here are a few quotes that i found to be lol material:

Instead we will have the FairTax, a simple tax based on wealth. When the FairTax becomes law, it will be like waving a magic wand releasing us from pain and unfairness.

I'd like you to join me at the best "Going Out of Business" sale I can imagine - one held by the Internal Revenue Service. Am I running for president to shut down the federal government? Not exactly.

My wife Janet and I celebrated our thirty-third wedding anniversary this past May. For us, every anniversary is a miracle.

The Founding Fathers weren't worried about our being able to bag a duck or a deer

I once saw a bumper sticker that said, "Criminals prefer unarmed victims."

I have no desire to throw women in jail, I just want us to stop throwing babies in the garbage.

oh and here is the best quote ever

Music has always been an important part of my life. I still play bass guitar in my band, Capitol Offense.

bahahahaha.
I WANT THEIR CD SO BAD

www.mikehuckabee.com

I'll never be able to take Huckabee seriously due to his inability to throw babies into the garbage. That's just what I look for in a leader.

Aw, these are great. Thanks Phyllis!


Dear Baby Jesus,
I know you're a Republican and all because my Republican friends tell me, so could you pretty please make sure Huckabee doesn't win Texas? We're already kind of a joke.

Love,
Me

Do Clinton and Obama advocate throwing babies into the garbage?

Do Clinton and Obama advocate throwing babies into the garbage?

I know I sure do.

You'd get my vote Justin.

Although I think sticking babies' heads on spikes is perferable to just throwing them in the garbage.

I prefer the old school drop kick method of putting them there.

ro"db"ach

I prefer the old school drop kick method of putting them there.

Funny, I would have pegged you for a stairs-pusher.

- Mere "horrible, just horrible" 1975

I prefer the old school drop kick method of putting them there.

Funny, I would have pegged you for a stairs-pusher.

- Mere "horrible, just horrible" 1975

the stairs are reserved for the tweens.

Just read this in the Dallas Morning News. Apparently, Huckabee and Chuck Norris were at SMU today.

“If you don’t vote, Chuck will roundhouse kick you.”

Just read this in the Dallas Morning News. Apparently, Huckabee and Chuck Norris were at SMU today.

“If you don’t vote, Chuck will roundhouse kick you.”

3

proof.

Just read this in the Dallas Morning News. Apparently, Huckabee and Chuck Norris were at SMU today.

“If you don’t vote, Chuck will roundhouse kick you.”

I think the fact that he couldn't come up with something more creative than "roundhouse kick you" to end that sentence should be all the proof anyone should need that he'd be a shitty president.

LAME.

Making abortion illegal would CERTAINLY stop this baby-garbage nonsense. It would force women to bring their children to term, get a job, get married, and raise them responsibly in a middle class two-parent household. Cause I know if I felt I needed an abortion, but I couldn't get one legally, I would just give up and have the baby, no problem. *start slow clap*

lets just make procreating illegal. that will solve everything.

lets just make procreating illegal. that will solve everything.

i'm okay with this.

ka"can the slogan be 'no new people'?"tie

lets just make procreating illegal. that will solve everything.

i'm okay with this.

ka"can the slogan be 'no new people'?"tie

says the n0Ob.

ro"oh, irony"ach