Steveums in America: a guide
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Steveums in America: a guide
OK, this got started in the question thread, but I feel it garners its own thread so Steve can try his best to not look too out of place in the big cities of the USofA.
First, it has already been stated that it looks highly suspicious to wear dark socks w/ shorts. This is just the way it is. If you insist on wearing dark socks, push them down so they are all bunchy. Hell, do that with all socks if you are wearing shorts.
Second, for the love of K do not wear a fanny pack. You are sure to get singled out and destroyed if you do.
Third, sunscreen is your friend. Wait until you get over here to buy it, but buy lots of it. Nothing is worse than a debilitating sunburn.
That's about all I can think of at the moment. Any other suggestions?
First, it has already been stated that it looks highly suspicious to wear dark socks w/ shorts. This is just the way it is. If you insist on wearing dark socks, push them down so they are all bunchy. Hell, do that with all socks if you are wearing shorts.
Second, for the love of K do not wear a fanny pack. You are sure to get singled out and destroyed if you do.
Third, sunscreen is your friend. Wait until you get over here to buy it, but buy lots of it. Nothing is worse than a debilitating sunburn.
That's about all I can think of at the moment. Any other suggestions?
Depositum Custody | not with that face
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You can do anything in America as long as you look like you're supposed to be doing what you're doing. Extra points if you look fatigued and annoyed that you have to do the action as well.
When you're riding from one place to another, you'll realize that America is fucking huge. On these road trips, just give up. You will be on the road forever. When you accept that you'll be on the road for "20" hours, the actual length of the trip won't be so bad.
When you're in the south, oh jesus, just watch yourself.
When you're riding from one place to another, you'll realize that America is fucking huge. On these road trips, just give up. You will be on the road forever. When you accept that you'll be on the road for "20" hours, the actual length of the trip won't be so bad.
When you're in the south, oh jesus, just watch yourself.
bring a uk driving licence if you're over 21 as it's a pain in the ass having to bring your passport to the bar. expect to have to point out where the age is and that while the dates are somewhat different in the uk, we don't have 31 months, honest.
credit cards are accepted in all major record stores. and minor ones too.
if travelling between dallas and austin, stopping at czech stop is obligatory.
speak in your best english accent and be polite, it seems to go along way.
don't worry about there being a door that doesn't quite fit in the gents cubicles, apparently that's normal.
bath tubs are lower than in the uk.
if you know what a fanny pack is, you'll be saying tom8to next.
supertarget is your best friend.
factor 30 suncream is cheap as chips so splash it on.
remember that in the US, most shows go onto 2am so nothing much happens before 10 at the venue. this means eating out is more of a preshow event than a post show kebab and 4 pack thing.
if you can bring alcohol into the country, remember to pack a bottle of pimms for MT. he has a fruit mountain to go with it.
check out pollstar for shows, also if you want to see any sports events it's an experience - baseball, basketball, hockey etc.
a guided tour of the cowboys stadium is fun as you get to catch touchdowns and kick extra points on the actual pitch. you don't get that in the premier league.
go with the flow, sometimes the best things are unplanned
credit cards are accepted in all major record stores. and minor ones too.
if travelling between dallas and austin, stopping at czech stop is obligatory.
speak in your best english accent and be polite, it seems to go along way.
don't worry about there being a door that doesn't quite fit in the gents cubicles, apparently that's normal.
bath tubs are lower than in the uk.
if you know what a fanny pack is, you'll be saying tom8to next.
supertarget is your best friend.
factor 30 suncream is cheap as chips so splash it on.
remember that in the US, most shows go onto 2am so nothing much happens before 10 at the venue. this means eating out is more of a preshow event than a post show kebab and 4 pack thing.
if you can bring alcohol into the country, remember to pack a bottle of pimms for MT. he has a fruit mountain to go with it.
check out pollstar for shows, also if you want to see any sports events it's an experience - baseball, basketball, hockey etc.
a guided tour of the cowboys stadium is fun as you get to catch touchdowns and kick extra points on the actual pitch. you don't get that in the premier league.
go with the flow, sometimes the best things are unplanned
Regarding socks, I would try to avoid wearing socks all together. "Socks" and "Summer" do not mix unless your feet absolutely stink (if so, then please wear socks and use some foot powder too.)
You should be aware that many "American" girls LOVE "Anglo" accents (as long as it's more "James Bond" than "Trainspotting"). Use it to your advantage.
As for beer, stick with European beer. Most American beer is shit.
FYI- Texas is the heart of BBQ country (at least for beef). Make sure you ask the locals about the best places for Ribs and Brisket and ENJOY! Mmmm... Ribs... Brisket...
Finally, guns are big in Texas. Try not to piss off any of the good ol' boys with that "witty repertoire" of yours.
You should be aware that many "American" girls LOVE "Anglo" accents (as long as it's more "James Bond" than "Trainspotting"). Use it to your advantage.
As for beer, stick with European beer. Most American beer is shit.
FYI- Texas is the heart of BBQ country (at least for beef). Make sure you ask the locals about the best places for Ribs and Brisket and ENJOY! Mmmm... Ribs... Brisket...
Finally, guns are big in Texas. Try not to piss off any of the good ol' boys with that "witty repertoire" of yours.
"Fuck the lot of you!"- Gordon Ramsay
And American girls are total suckers for the accent (don't know about the boys...).speak in your best english accent and be polite, it seems to go along way.
Except we call it SPF 30 sunscreen.factor 30 suncream is cheap as chips so splash it on.
Other things:
We (those of us not living near the east coast) never walk anywhere. Ever.
Don't drink the Guinness. It's not the same.
On a related note...
It once took me over an hour to figure out why an online European reservations system kept telling me that 03/15/05 was an invalid date.we don't have 31 months, honest.
Last edited by Irock on Tue Apr 04, 2006 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Along with the road trip theme: Miles feel so much longer than kilometers (I know..I know, cuz they are). My point is, when we went to Canada, it felt like we were kicking ass covering ground, therefore, the reverse will happen to you: you'll feel that if it's 70 miles you should get there much sooner than you actually will.
So many people will dig your accent so much, they will want you to talk just to hear you speak.
Wear sandels with shorts (my fashion tip, though Jack disagrees.)
There are tons of great micro-beers but I agree, stay away from the mass produced american crap.
Some clubs card heavy, some are lax, some have the all ages shows. (I think you mentioned you're not 21?) so, plan accordingly.
Yes sunscreen! Even on days that are hazy and not hot.
On the north-side of Chicago (where you mentioned you'd be staying), you can do much more as you please. There's less taboo and hang-ups (but more posuers.)
You can get away with never getting into the car in Chicago.
Above all, enjoy!!!!!
So many people will dig your accent so much, they will want you to talk just to hear you speak.
Wear sandels with shorts (my fashion tip, though Jack disagrees.)
There are tons of great micro-beers but I agree, stay away from the mass produced american crap.
Some clubs card heavy, some are lax, some have the all ages shows. (I think you mentioned you're not 21?) so, plan accordingly.
Yes sunscreen! Even on days that are hazy and not hot.
On the north-side of Chicago (where you mentioned you'd be staying), you can do much more as you please. There's less taboo and hang-ups (but more posuers.)
You can get away with never getting into the car in Chicago.
Above all, enjoy!!!!!
"Don't go to bed mad. Stay up and fight"
"factor 30 suncream is cheap as chips so splash it on."
SO English!!!
* Don't talk about fags -- it's impolite.
* Go to Six Flags or some other amusement park to get a REAL taste of the diversity of typical Americans.
* Don't expect many Indian food places. Have a curry before you leave home.
* I think everything will feel far away, even in the "same town." I drive 25 minutes to work every day. My parents live 45 minutes away. I drive to the store, I drive to the movies, I drive to dinner. . .
* You'll see real cowboys in Fort Worth. You probably won't see many in Dallas or Austin.
* You won't be able to drink alcohol in bars/clubs/restaurants at age 18.
* Your money will go a long way here.
- Mere "they're right about the accent thing, the girls all love 'em" 1975
SO English!!!
* Don't talk about fags -- it's impolite.
* Go to Six Flags or some other amusement park to get a REAL taste of the diversity of typical Americans.
* Don't expect many Indian food places. Have a curry before you leave home.
* I think everything will feel far away, even in the "same town." I drive 25 minutes to work every day. My parents live 45 minutes away. I drive to the store, I drive to the movies, I drive to dinner. . .
* You'll see real cowboys in Fort Worth. You probably won't see many in Dallas or Austin.
* You won't be able to drink alcohol in bars/clubs/restaurants at age 18.
* Your money will go a long way here.
- Mere "they're right about the accent thing, the girls all love 'em" 1975
"You'll have to wait until my cameo in the next season for confirmation" - eebs
"I'm one of my favorite things!" - irock
* Tex-Mex is something they don't have in England. I suggest eating as much of it as possible.
* Whataburger Taquitos.
* Food in the states is generally far more unhealthy. If you happen to run across a whole foods, take advantage!
* Buy a baseball cap to act as a visor to the sun.
* Yes, sunscreen.
* Tipping at restaurants is expected. The service will astound you, especially in Dallas, which is probably the restaurant capital of the world. 15% is a minimum, 20-25% for good to exceptional service.
* Go to a baseball game. It's not about the sport, but the atmosphere.
* Make sure you have plenty to keep you busy on those long, long, long, long, long journeys.
* Whataburger Taquitos.
* Food in the states is generally far more unhealthy. If you happen to run across a whole foods, take advantage!
* Buy a baseball cap to act as a visor to the sun.
* Yes, sunscreen.
* Tipping at restaurants is expected. The service will astound you, especially in Dallas, which is probably the restaurant capital of the world. 15% is a minimum, 20-25% for good to exceptional service.
* Go to a baseball game. It's not about the sport, but the atmosphere.
* Make sure you have plenty to keep you busy on those long, long, long, long, long journeys.
Believe James, not Brian Teasley.. . . Dallas, which is probably the restaurant capital of the world. . .
- Mere "there is a Whole Foods within walking distance from my house, so you can walk up there one day when I am at work and buy fancy cheeses and good food" 1975
"You'll have to wait until my cameo in the next season for confirmation" - eebs
"I'm one of my favorite things!" - irock
(snicker...)Believe James, not Brian Teasley.. . . Dallas, which is probably the restaurant capital of the world. . .
- Mere "there is a Whole Foods within walking distance from my house, so you can walk up there one day when I am at work and buy fancy cheeses and good food" 1975
There's tons and tons of restaurants here too, and it's a very ecclectic ethnic mix. Also, Whole Foods and other organic grocers.
You can get greasy grub or healthy - it's your choice.
Let me say, though, it can get pretty pricey.
"Don't go to bed mad. Stay up and fight"
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In the south please try to talk slow or you'll find yourself repeating everything several times.
In Texas a "couple" could mean as many as three or four. As in "It's a couple o' more hours down the road." And a "few" is a couple of more than a couple.
And a coke is any kind of soda. As in "What kind of coke do you want?" "Gimme a Dr. Pepper."
You probably know about the other common words that get switched upon arrival - chips, football, rubber, fag, bugger...
Sunscreen. Sunscreen. Sunscreen. Even on a cloudy day.
Guns aren't as common as has been told. Well, they are. You just don't see them.
If you order tea, it'll come in a HUGE glass with ice. You may even be asked if you want sweet tea. Sweet tea is like pancake syrup. And it's worth trying at least once.
Yeah, we do have alot of churches. And if you go to a sporting event, you might want at least stand during the national anthem. It's not a matter of respect or politics or any other complicated bullshit like that. It's a matter of surviving the drunk meatheads sitting three rows behind you.
In Texas a "couple" could mean as many as three or four. As in "It's a couple o' more hours down the road." And a "few" is a couple of more than a couple.
And a coke is any kind of soda. As in "What kind of coke do you want?" "Gimme a Dr. Pepper."
You probably know about the other common words that get switched upon arrival - chips, football, rubber, fag, bugger...
Sunscreen. Sunscreen. Sunscreen. Even on a cloudy day.
Guns aren't as common as has been told. Well, they are. You just don't see them.
If you order tea, it'll come in a HUGE glass with ice. You may even be asked if you want sweet tea. Sweet tea is like pancake syrup. And it's worth trying at least once.
Yeah, we do have alot of churches. And if you go to a sporting event, you might want at least stand during the national anthem. It's not a matter of respect or politics or any other complicated bullshit like that. It's a matter of surviving the drunk meatheads sitting three rows behind you.
* Tex Mex & Mexican -- have the kids take you to Pepe & Mitos. YUUUUUUMLICIOUS
* SuperTarget is definitely your friend.
* Whole Foods is as good as they make it out to be.
* You can get really good made to order sarnies at Central Market.
* There is an excellent bagel place called Einsteins. Good for breakfast. Had Mom import some at Christmas time.
* Go to Chipotle and eat a burrito the size of your head.
* Yeah... I have to agree with the dark socks/shorts thing. Very euro. Pick yourself a up a pack of white socks at Woolies.
* Watch Bella (Mere's dog) bounce up and down. She is a coolio sheep-dog. Give her a greenie for me.
* Enjoy your time with the Dallas kids, they are a lovely lovely bunch of people.
* Go see some films. They are cheap, sometimes free (ask Mere) and the cinemas are HUGE and have stadium seating.
* People don't generally walk places as much as they do here... expect lots of car rides to and from places. Big big cities (like Chicago) have much better public transport.
* Jeans and trainers are much much cheaper. Plan on buying some if you need new ones.
* Having said that, Eebs would usually pack light knowing that he was going to pick up some new jeans, hoodies, trainers while in the US.
* Credit cards are your friend. Much better exchange rate and accepted most places.
* Go hang out at the mall. Its very "American."
* Have fun!!!!
* SuperTarget is definitely your friend.
* Whole Foods is as good as they make it out to be.
* You can get really good made to order sarnies at Central Market.
* There is an excellent bagel place called Einsteins. Good for breakfast. Had Mom import some at Christmas time.
* Go to Chipotle and eat a burrito the size of your head.
* Yeah... I have to agree with the dark socks/shorts thing. Very euro. Pick yourself a up a pack of white socks at Woolies.
* Watch Bella (Mere's dog) bounce up and down. She is a coolio sheep-dog. Give her a greenie for me.
* Enjoy your time with the Dallas kids, they are a lovely lovely bunch of people.
* Go see some films. They are cheap, sometimes free (ask Mere) and the cinemas are HUGE and have stadium seating.
* People don't generally walk places as much as they do here... expect lots of car rides to and from places. Big big cities (like Chicago) have much better public transport.
* Jeans and trainers are much much cheaper. Plan on buying some if you need new ones.
* Having said that, Eebs would usually pack light knowing that he was going to pick up some new jeans, hoodies, trainers while in the US.
* Credit cards are your friend. Much better exchange rate and accepted most places.
* Go hang out at the mall. Its very "American."
* Have fun!!!!
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