Forkers Central

No, I don't think I get anything in my stocking anymore. The last years that I did, it was very practical stuff like a box of tissues, Bactine, Q-tips, toothpaste, a travel umbrella -- Santa shopped at Walgreens. Is there a gift you are super excited to give someone this year? - Mere "kind of p...

I think Christmas Vacation has held up beautifully.

What's your favorite Christmas movie?

- Mere "Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah." 1975

No, I had not.

TSA full-body scan or pat down?

- Mere "from here on out, I will refer to t he pat down as the 'rub and tug'" 1975

My favorite move: shoulder-shoulder-shoulder.

- Mere "I want to know what this guy eats for breakfast to have so much ENERGY" 1975

Yes, which reminds me that I better go trim the tree!

Which celebrities do you always get mixed up?

- Mere "a la Jeffrey Dean Morgan/Javier Bardem and Josh Duhamel/Timothy Olyphant and Brian Cox/Albert Finney" 1975

I do it at work. I have Drew Brees and Tom Brady as my QBs. This week, I played Drew and got 16 points, but Tom scored 29 points. Oh well. Is there a trick to cleaning up pet stains on carpet? - Mere "considering some kind of Bissell Little Green/spot bot thing for when Resolve isn't enough -- ...

Now I want to go kick some tulips.

- Mere "quick! I need to go to Holland!" 1975

No, I am not. Harry Potter is the best way to get me to fall asleep. (Avoids things thrown by Bowerses, Phyllis and apparently Sunny.)

Are you excited about Breaking Dawn next year?

- Mere "am" 1975

Solitaire.

What's your favorite time waster?

- Mere "besides thinking of questions to post on Ask the Person Below You" 1975

V. cool!

- Mere "if you're into nerdy" 1975

Perez story about Oliver Peck trashing Kat Von D

Kat seems shady, but I was surprised to read that her ex-husband talked to In Touch Weekly about her.

You guys are friends with Oliver, right Bowerses?

- Mere "just surprised, is all" 1975

They should sell those shots in the food bar at Ikea.

- Mere "got a little pulp in your eye?" 1975

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

- Mere "howwwww sweeeeeet!" 1975

I love these videos so much.

- Mere "he has inspired me to both strut my ass and brush my teeth for an extra five minutes" 1975

I love the idea of a baby mustache!

- Mere "and a beard that hooks around the ears, maybe?" 1975